Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
We are created for relationship and developing good social skills are a vital part of our success in life. All too often when we are hurt by others, we tend to either avoid people or lash out on them.
I’m sure we have all had experiences where people would treat us as if it was our fault they had a flat tire or that they had a fight with their spouse. Learning to let go of all offences and not take things personally is a skill we can all develop.
Living a successful life means knowing how to enhance relationships. Every person you and I have a relationship with has an emotional bank account. If every time I see you I want to borrow $20, or use your car, or need you to run an errand for me, eventually your emotional bank account will be overdrawn. Then when the phone rings or there’s a knock at the door, you start avoiding me as if I were a bad plague.
When it comes to enhancing relationship we must learn how to add deposits to the emotional bank account and when there is a withdrawal, it will not be the end of the world. Here are some ways you can add to your friendships:
- Take time today to encourage someone.
- Give people sincere compliments. Tell them they look good.
- Say something good about a person’s family.
- Recognize other people’s accomplishments.
- Complement people on their ideas.
- Ask them what they think.
- Praise people for trying.
- Everyone has some good qualities. Find them and recognize them.
- Avoid gossip.
- Show personal interest in people. Get to know the personal interests and concerns of people you are with.
- Don’t take complaints personally.
- Be genuinely interested in others.
- Use a person’s name.
- Let other people talk about themselves, their interests, their families, their jobs, their problems, their hobbies and their pets. Be a good listener and repeat back some of what they are saying so they feel heard.
One important concept about friendships is not to keep score. Everything you do for others should be because you want to. If you feel forced to have to do something out of obligation, it is time you take a look at your priorities.
Setting boundaries of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour is mandatory when dealing with people who want to take advantage of you. Be wise in your interactions with people and listen to wise counsel. Choose your friends carefully.
Start today by encouraging others and bringing smiles to their faces.