Each of us, from time to time, must deal with disappointments that we face. We live in a world of dysfunction and sometimes we get hurt.
It is shocking to me how much tragedy some people face. Being involved in helping youth at risk in our community has given me the wonderful opportunity of talking with a variety of teenagers and young adults. I’ve heard stories of betrayal, abandonment, rejection, murder, suicide and abuse of all kinds. It’s disgusting. My heart goes out to all of them and I pray that somehow they can be free from all the pain they have experienced.
We cannot ignore our hearts, minds and souls. We must listen to what is going on inside, good or bad. We have to bring it up and deal with it. As Solomon said in Proverbs 4:23 about minding what is inside the heart: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” It is the place from which everything comes.
Success and failure alike arise from what is going on inside and the wise person is one who pays attention. With wisdom we can oversee what is going on inside and deal with it.
Just recently I was faced with a situation where I felt falsely accused and unappreciated for endless hours of service and commitment. For months I had a cold that I could not get rid of and constant pain in my neck and shoulders. As I lay on my bed pondering the events that had taken place, I could not deny my pain any longer and burst into tears. The reality hit that I had been deeply wounded.
As I faced my hurt and allowed myself to grieve, my tears became healing agents cleansing my soul and dislodging the feelings of anger, hurt, pain and sorrow. I ended by forgiving those people who had hurt me and asking Jesus to minister His love to them. I then made a decision to let go of all that pain and deal with it in constructive ways.
One of my favourite authors Dr. Henry Cloud, in his book “Nine Things You Simply Must Do”, shares nine principles to be truly effective in life. The first principle is entitled “Dig it up.” He says that the reality of the life we see and live on the outside is one that emerges from the inside, from our hearts, minds and souls.
In this chapter he encourages readers to look at, listen to, discover and be mindful of our internal life – the good things in us, like our talents, feelings, desires and dreams as well as the bad things like our hurt, pain, anger and negative emotions.
He goes on to say, “Get rid of the pain you carry around and the effects it is having on your life. If you ignore it, it will become a cancer that gets larger. Grief that is ignored turns into depression and hopelessness. Hurt turns into lack of trust and anger turns into bitterness and hatred. If you are walking around with unresolved matters of the heart, it is time to deal with them.
When you face your demons and your pain, you “reclaim the land” of your heart and soul. You come through that suffering better than when you went in. Process it, mourn it, heal it, grieve it, repent of it or whatever it takes to work it out of your system.”
If you have experienced hurts in your life, today is your day to dig it up, acknowledge it and release it. Take some time to find a quiet undisturbed place and write in a journal the feelings you have buried. Begin to forgive those people and let go of that pain.
Twice a year (every May and September) I teach this subject in depth at a ladies retreat for Above and Beyond Ministries. I keep it to a minimal of eleven people. For more information visist www.aboveandbeyondministries.ca