The first step in healing and growth are awareness and acceptance. Learning self-acceptance did not come easy for me. All my weaknesses, insecurities and flaws haunted me like a bad nightmare. Once I accepted the fact that I was full of self-hate, I was then able to deal with it. I cannot change traits I insist I do not have. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck. I am not moved to change those things whose reality I deny. I have learned that I must accept the things I cannot change, and change the things I can.
When we fight a block it grows stronger. If I deny and disown what is, how will I be inspired to grow? We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side – from anything that threatens to make us stand out.”
I have discovered that the more I admit my imperfections, the less frightening they become. James 5:16 tells us to “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Healing comes to those who admit that they need it.
We do not necessarily have to like what we see, but we recognize that which is, is, and that which is not, is not. This awareness of admitting what is leads us to acceptance. Believing that our thoughts have value, leads us to be open, honest, and appropriate in our communications, because we welcome clarity rather than fear it. There is no shame in admitting my mistakes, the shame comes when I deny and defend my flaws.
Accepting my strengths and my weaknesses gave me a new freedom. It destroyed all traces of self-hate and allowed me to be a friend to myself. As I learned the skill of loving and accepting myself, it opened doors for me to love and accept others.
Most of my life believing that I was a victim made it difficult for me to take responsibility for my own actions and goals. I believed it was someone else’s job to make me happy. Until I accepted responsibility for my own life, I remained a child.
Now I accept myself for who I am and it has transformed my life. It has given me the freedom to change what I can, and accept what I cannot change. Self-Acceptance is a gift that offers dividends into every area of our life.
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